Delayed Gratification: Your Superpower to Success

WEBVTT 00:00:13.443 --> 00:00:17.040 Do you practice delayed gratification? 00:00:19.360 --> 00:00:20.720 When traveling the world, 00:00:21.720 --> 00:00:26.440 I get approached by many people solely because they recognize 00:00:26.470 --> 00:00:29.400 the University of Michigan logo on my clothes. 00:00:30.986 --> 00:00:31.914 So get this. 00:00:32.760 --> 00:00:37.240 Five years ago, I'm checking out of a hotel in Barcelona, Spain. 00:00:38.520 --> 00:00:42.440 On my way to a cruise ship, wearing my Michigan threads. 00:00:44.400 --> 00:00:46.760 The woman in line behind me asked if I'm from Michigan. 00:00:48.680 --> 00:00:50.800 I said, No, I'm actually from Indiana, 00:00:51.720 --> 00:00:54.520 but I did attend college and medical school at U-M. 00:00:56.080 --> 00:00:57.886 Well, where in Indiana? She asked. 00:00:59.543 --> 00:01:01.157 A small town called Crown Point. 00:01:02.920 --> 00:01:07.880 Surprised, she said, My husband grew up in Crown Point. 00:01:09.320 --> 00:01:11.160 She shouted for her husband, 00:01:12.000 --> 00:01:16.840 who quickly came running up to us and said, My name is John Kometz. 00:01:19.880 --> 00:01:23.360 I was in total shock. 00:01:24.720 --> 00:01:30.300 It turns out that John was one of my best friends in seventh grade. 00:01:30.400 --> 00:01:32.400 I hadn't seen him in 40 years. 00:01:33.440 --> 00:01:39.857 John and I quickly embraced, and we caught up on the last four decades 00:01:40.520 --> 00:01:46.843 in four short minutes while our families departed on the same cruise ship. 00:01:51.720 --> 00:01:56.171 Understand, I wasn't always able to travel the world. 00:01:58.240 --> 00:02:00.480 I couldn't get all the things I wanted when I was young. 00:02:02.560 --> 00:02:07.040 Growing up as a teenager in Indiana, we had no money. 00:02:09.280 --> 00:02:14.600 My parents and I emigrated from Communist Cuba when I was only three. 00:02:16.729 --> 00:02:21.214 Escaping a life of uncertainty and search for a better future. 00:02:22.360 --> 00:02:24.586 My father worked two full-time jobs. 00:02:25.440 --> 00:02:29.029 My mother went to college three hours away from home 00:02:29.500 --> 00:02:31.814 while attempting to speak a foreign language. 00:02:33.320 --> 00:02:38.829 I was sent a thousand miles away to grow up with my grandparents 00:02:39.600 --> 00:02:43.520 while my parents were reestablishing themselves in a new world. 00:02:47.840 --> 00:02:48.960 We didn't have a car, 00:02:50.040 --> 00:02:54.920 and I walked to school daily during the harsh winters of Northwest Missouri. 00:02:57.520 --> 00:02:59.814 Some of my so-called friends 00:03:00.560 --> 00:03:04.871 made fun of our family for being different and having accents. 00:03:06.600 --> 00:03:08.514 Unlike many of my friends 00:03:09.160 --> 00:03:14.600 who had fancy summer vacations and were gifted cars when turning 16, 00:03:16.000 --> 00:03:18.900 I couldn't have the immediate gratification that they got. 00:03:21.814 --> 00:03:23.520 As a freshman in high school, 00:03:24.657 --> 00:03:29.329 I wanted so badly to play hockey for our high school team. 00:03:31.300 --> 00:03:34.257 My parents simply couldn't afford the expensive equipment. 00:03:36.880 --> 00:03:38.700 I felt cheated. 00:03:39.914 --> 00:03:41.171 I felt envious. 00:03:42.760 --> 00:03:44.471 I even felt a little bitter. 00:03:48.800 --> 00:03:53.029 We live in an era of instant gratification. 00:03:53.800 --> 00:03:57.800 We expect immediate results and instant rewards. 00:03:59.080 --> 00:04:04.600 However, you can embrace and achieve your goals 00:04:04.630 --> 00:04:09.171 and dreams faster by embracing delayed gratification. 00:04:10.920 --> 00:04:16.086 When I accepted setting aside immediate gratification 00:04:17.640 --> 00:04:22.586 and instead focused on my studies and education to become a physician, 00:04:23.514 --> 00:04:27.414 I quickly learned that my life goals occurred much sooner. 00:04:30.471 --> 00:04:35.271 During college, I only had student loans and a few scholarships. 00:04:36.000 --> 00:04:37.657 I chose to live frugally, 00:04:38.800 --> 00:04:43.857 avoided spending on fancy meals, and instead ate the meals in the dorms. 00:04:45.120 --> 00:04:47.214 I limited my partying and concerts. 00:04:48.680 --> 00:04:52.529 After graduating and starting my ophthalmology residency, 00:04:53.380 --> 00:04:56.271 I chose to spend wisely and save. 00:04:58.440 --> 00:05:00.200 Within a few short years of working, 00:05:01.240 --> 00:05:02.571 I could travel the world, 00:05:03.614 --> 00:05:05.043 buy fancy cars, 00:05:06.086 --> 00:05:07.471 but most importantly, 00:05:08.680 --> 00:05:13.414 provide financial support to my parents who had sacrificed their lives for me. 00:05:17.760 --> 00:05:19.880 Delayed gratification 00:05:21.080 --> 00:05:26.386 is the practice of resisting the temptation for immediate rewards 00:05:27.349 --> 00:05:33.000 and instead choosing to invest time and effort into long-term goals. 00:05:34.720 --> 00:05:38.440 One of the critical benefits of delayed gratification 00:05:38.960 --> 00:05:41.864 is the development of resilience, 00:05:43.071 --> 00:05:48.243 strengthening our ability to overcome obstacles, endure challenges, 00:05:48.729 --> 00:05:50.871 and persevere through setbacks. 00:05:52.240 --> 00:05:58.857 Delayed gratification allows us to gain clarity about our goals and aspirations. 00:06:00.543 --> 00:06:02.743 It forces us to reflect 00:06:02.880 --> 00:06:04.426 on what truly matters 00:06:05.543 --> 00:06:08.486 and identify the steps needed to achieve those goals. 00:06:09.760 --> 00:06:12.929 It teaches us to control our impulses 00:06:13.680 --> 00:06:17.560 and make conscious choices that serve our long-term interests. 00:06:20.080 --> 00:06:22.120 By delaying instant gratification, 00:06:22.840 --> 00:06:28.480 we become masters of our desires rather than slaves to our impulses. 00:06:30.514 --> 00:06:33.029 Delayed gratification teaches us 00:06:33.929 --> 00:06:36.000 the art of patience, 00:06:37.243 --> 00:06:40.173 allowing us to wait for the right opportunities 00:06:40.714 --> 00:06:42.457 to make thoughtful decisions, 00:06:43.480 --> 00:06:48.071 enabling us to embrace the journey rather than obsess over the destination. 00:06:52.880 --> 00:06:56.357 One of the most famous and well-known studies 00:06:56.632 --> 00:07:01.886 that demonstrates the positive power of delayed gratification 00:07:02.471 --> 00:07:05.871 is the so-called Stanford Marshmallow experiment, 00:07:06.557 --> 00:07:11.486 conducted by psychologist Walter Mischel in the early 1970s. 00:07:12.920 --> 00:07:14.120 In this experiment, 00:07:14.560 --> 00:07:19.880 young children ages four through six were individually presented 00:07:20.760 --> 00:07:24.214 with either a marshmallow or another treat of their choice. 00:07:25.360 --> 00:07:27.334 The researchers then explained 00:07:28.029 --> 00:07:30.429 that they could eat their treats immediately, 00:07:31.086 --> 00:07:34.257 but if they waited about 15 minutes, 00:07:34.920 --> 00:07:39.000 they would receive an additional treat as a reward. 00:07:40.743 --> 00:07:43.086 The children were left alone in the room 00:07:44.000 --> 00:07:47.840 and their struggle to resist temptation was observed. 00:07:49.920 --> 00:07:51.360 The results were fascinating. 00:07:52.640 --> 00:07:54.480 Some of the children couldn't resist 00:07:54.720 --> 00:07:57.680 temptation and ate their treats right away. 00:07:58.520 --> 00:08:01.070 Whereas others successfully delayed 00:08:01.071 --> 00:08:05.114 gratification in order to receive the second treat. 00:08:06.800 --> 00:08:07.840 Now, years later, 00:08:08.600 --> 00:08:13.000 follow-up longitudinal studies showed that those children who 00:08:13.640 --> 00:08:17.680 displayed greater self-control and delayed gratification 00:08:18.480 --> 00:08:23.280 performed better academically, had higher SAT scores, 00:08:24.240 --> 00:08:29.640 and exhibited better social and emotional skills in adolescence and adulthood. 00:08:35.286 --> 00:08:39.000 Delaying gratification takes three simple steps. 00:08:40.800 --> 00:08:47.080 First, clearly define your most important long-term goal. 00:08:48.640 --> 00:08:51.029 Reflect on what truly matters to you. 00:08:51.880 --> 00:08:52.840 Write it down. 00:08:53.920 --> 00:08:56.720 Keep it as a visible reminder of your vision. 00:08:59.000 --> 00:09:00.040 Second, 00:09:00.680 --> 00:09:04.440 Create a structured plan to achieve your goal. 00:09:05.720 --> 00:09:09.480 If necessary, break down your goal into smaller, more manageable steps. 00:09:10.760 --> 00:09:12.880 Assign realistic timelines to each 00:09:12.920 --> 00:09:16.040 milestone and chart your progress regularly. 00:09:18.320 --> 00:09:18.935 Third, 00:09:20.443 --> 00:09:22.914 Practice mindful decision-making. 00:09:24.280 --> 00:09:27.920 When faced with choices that involve immediate rewards 00:09:28.680 --> 00:09:31.960 but may hinder your progress toward long-term goals, 00:09:33.920 --> 00:09:40.840 pause and consider the consequences, embrace self-discipline, 00:09:41.080 --> 00:09:44.800 and choose actions that align with your long-term vision. 00:09:51.486 --> 00:09:54.800 I challenge you to step back 00:09:55.200 --> 00:10:00.571 from the immediate gratification culture and invest in your growth and potential. 00:10:02.240 --> 00:10:06.140 Remember, success is not an overnight phenomenon, 00:10:07.086 --> 00:10:12.786 but rather a journey of consistent efforts and dedicated focus. 00:10:14.640 --> 00:10:18.043 Next time you encounter a temptation, 00:10:18.800 --> 00:10:21.557 simply stop, write it down. 00:10:22.920 --> 00:10:24.700 Do not act on it. 00:10:25.760 --> 00:10:32.071 Instead, wait one week and let it sink into your subconscious. 00:10:33.400 --> 00:10:36.014 One week later, you can think about it again, 00:10:36.671 --> 00:10:40.214 but the temptation will be far less. 00:10:41.320 --> 00:10:46.880 This is how you learn to flex your delayed gratification muscle. 00:10:51.880 --> 00:10:55.560 Let's dare to be patient and persistent 00:10:56.360 --> 00:11:01.429 and let delayed gratification propel us toward accelerated achievements. 00:11:02.960 --> 00:11:06.233 Together, we can embrace our futures 00:11:06.729 --> 00:11:11.657 and make a long-lasting impact on ourselves and the world.